Dear Beyblade Authors
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.
1. Sincerely, Kai

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**.**

**Chapter One: Sincerely, Kai**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I do NOT use steroids or any other forms of recreational drugs. I'm straight-edge, don't you know? On second note, I don't wear make–up. I'm a _guy – _not a _girl. _This is face paint dammit.

_Yours not-so-sincerely, Kai_

.

So I've seen quite a few of these around in other fandoms, and figured I ought to try it for Beyblade. As always, reviews much appreciated.


	2. Sincerely, Max

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Yoko Fujioka, DGMSilverAirHead03, Allycat, Beywriter and DancerInTheDark101 for reviewing.

**.**

**Chapter Two: Sincerely, Max**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

Why do people think I'm always high on sugar? Do you think I'm a drug addict? Have you considered I might just be a _happy _person? I like noodles. NOODLES. Not sweets! Besides... sugar rush is a myth. Geez.

_Yours sincerely, Max_

.

I want to point out a few things about this story.

It is a piece of fanfiction. Letters are narratives too.

And secondly, this is based on clichés I have seen during my time on . Having been an active reader for more than five years, I've come across a lot of clichés.

Finally, this is a parody.

Reviews much appreciated as always!


	3. Sincerely, Robert

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

kaihil lover, SatsurikuSajira, DGMSilverAirHead03 and chocolatexloverx16 for reviewing the previous chapter.

**.**

**Chapter Three: Sincerely, Robert**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

Why is it I'm often paired with Johnny? I have no respect for that scoundrel! I mean look at the way he dresses! A Jurgen would never stoop so low to choose _that _as a partner. And don't even get me started with his obsession with losing. His constant whining is grating.

_Yours sincerely, Robert _

.

Who should be next? As always, reviews much appreciated.


	4. Sincerely, Boris

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

DGMSilverAirHead03 and Nazrita for reviewing the previous chapter.

**.**

**Chapter Four: Sincerely, Boris**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I am NOT a bad man! I have a big heart of gold, but you're all convinced I'm bad because of the Abbey episode. I never killed anyone. I never raped anyone. How am I evil? It's because of the hair isn't it? Why do purple haired guys have to be seen as the 'bad ones'?

_Yours sincerely, Boris_

Not.

_._

Boris is awesome : D Who should be next?


	5. Sincerely, Voltaire

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Sprintingfever, Darkened-Storm, DGMSilverAirHead03, Nazrita and some stuff for reviewing the previous chapter.

**.**

**Chapter Five: Sincerely, Voltaire**

_Dear FanFiction Authors_

Everyone assumes I'm just this big fat horrible old nasty grandfather, but really I'm a good man! I took in Kai and raised him as my own, but you all assume I beat him up! Is it my big nose? My big bushy eyebrows that make me evil?

Because I'm a good person with a heart of gold, you're just siding with Kai because you don't know my story yet. Teenagers... so judgemental of the elderly... Have respect for your elders!

Yours sincerely, Voltaire

.

Who would you like to see after Lee and Miguel (the next two chapters)?

As for length, I'm gonna keep this relatively short... will reuse characters again in the future : )

As always, reviews much appreciated!


	6. Sincerely, Johnny

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Guest 1, Guest 2, Guest 3, Valarie Valkov, SatsurikuSajira, Susas sewell, Z-Aquarius-Kai, Nazrita, kaihil lover, DGMSilverAirHead03 and chocolatexloverx16 for reviewing the previous chapter (and chapters in the case of some).

**.**

**Chapter Six: Sincerely, Johnny**

_Dear FanFiction Authors_

I do not love Robert. How could anyone love that unemotional, boring man?

Secondly, I am not a hobo! So what if I like wearing torn clothing? It makes me look manly!

And finally, I AM good at chess! I just let Robert win. Seriously.

Yours Sincerely, Johnny

.

So Lee was going to be next, but I had no ideas. Got any? As always, reviews much appreciated!


	7. Sincerely, Mystel

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Desastrus, SatsurikuSajira, Valarie Valkov, Omegaxis1, Nazrita, kaihil lover, Z-Aquarius-Kai, chocolatexloverx16 and DGMSilverAirhead03 for reviewing! Now it's time for my favourite character, Mystel!

**.**

**Chapter Seven: Sincerely, Mystel**

_Dear FanFiction Authors_

Why do people assume I'm some cheap Max rip-off?

I'm not nice, alright? I'm only pretending to be because no one likes the bad ones. I mean, look how Boris turned out! And besides, why would I want to be like Max? Look at that hair!

And the mask – it's good for hiding my eyes. Good for perving (on Mariah) without being caught y'know? Girls (Mariah) can't tell where my eyes are looking.

Yours sincerely, Mystel

P.S. Demonic seed ftw!

.

Mystel is the best! ... in my eyes anyway. Next up is Mariah because she's my favourite female. As always, reviews much appreciated!

Oh, and that last line 'demonic seed' is dedicated to my good friend **chocolatexloverx16**! If you wanna know more about it, simply read 'Boris's Sex Class' under the penname **Bam Bam and Sookface.**


	8. Sincerely, Judy

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Anjanie, Susan sewell, Desastrus, fallenangelx23, kaihil lover, Hibisha, DGMSilverAirHead03, Nazrita, chocolatexloverx16, Omegaxis1 and SatsurikuSajira for reviewing the previous chapter! I know I said I was going to do Mariah, but I had a random moment of Judy inspiration and went with her instead. Enjoy!

**.**

**Chapter Eight: Sincerely, Judy**

_Dear FanFiction Authors_

I am not a bitch alright? I swear I only fought against Max because I wanted to make him stronger. I only want what is best for my child and if it meant testing him, so be it. I know I broke his heart, but I am a good mother. Honestly.

**.**

Happy twentieth birthday to me! Gosh, I feel old. As always, reviews much appreciated!


	9. Sincerely, Mariah

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Khooxp, Valarie Valkov, DMGSilverAirHead03, Nazrita, Omegaxis1, chocolatexloverx16, kaihil lover and Anjanie for reviewing the previous chapter.

**.**

**Chapter Nine: Sincerely, Mariah**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

Why are you judging me for wearing a lot of pink? Kai wears a lot of blue and people don't make fun of _him. _Don't judge people on the colours they choose to wear! Pink is simply me expressing my femininity!

_Yours sincerely, Mariah_

.

Somewhat shorter than expected. As always, reviews much appreciated!


	10. Sincerely, Tala

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Anjanie, susan sewell, DGMSilverAirHead03, Nazrita and chocolatexloverx16 for reviewing the previous chapter!

.

**Chapter Ten: Sincerely, Tala**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

People seem to think I'm a cyborg.

I'm not, alright? Cyborgs have no emotions... I have emotions! Anger is an emotion.

And why do people have to assume I'm the feminine one? What's wrong with putting my hands in my hips? Is that a crime now? What's wrong with embracing one's feminine side? No, I'm not a girly man!

You people are horrible.

Screw you all.

_Yours not-so sincerely, Tala_

.

Bryan next! As always, reviews much appreciated!


	11. Sincerely, Kai (again)

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Louisreynolds, DGMSilverAirHead03, Nazrita, Anjanie, Susan sewell, ciarawr, Omegaxis1 and Minij Akane for reviewing the previous chapter!

**.**

**Chapter Eleven: Sincerely, Kai**

_Dear FanFiction Authors again,_

It's come to my attention people think it's amusing to pair me up with people I don't even like! Three names come to mind.

Firstly, why the hell do people pair me up with Tyson?! We are FRIENDS. I could never be in love with someone like that! His table manners are atrocious, and he's far too loud and worst of all, he's a better beyblader than me. Not cool.

Secondly, Tala. What. The. Hell. Tala and I don't even have a strong friendship, let alone us being together in a relationship. Besides, I am not interested in girly men... or men for that matter.

And finally... Hilary! It seems to be all the rage these days, but I am not in love with Hilary. She's like... another Tyson only female! What is wrong with you people?!

_Still not sincerely, Kai_

.

No offense to anyone who likes those pairings (I have written KaixHilary myself). As always, reviews much appreciated.


	12. Sincerely, Bryan

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Wow, over a hundred reviews! Thank you all so very much :D Thanks must go to Yuri18 y Tsuki500, Karanma Maeryl, Anonymous, Nazrita, DGMSilverAirHead03, Louisreynolds, Susan sewell, Omegaxis1, it's me, bookgirl111 and Anjanie for reviewing the previous chapter – you guys are amazing : )

**.**

**Chapter Twelve: Sincerely, Bryan**

Dear FanFiction Authors,

You wanna know why I am so filled with hatred and rage?

It's because of you!

You make fun of my nose.

You make fun of my voice.

You make fun of my pasty white skin.

You make fun of my bitbeast and call it Fagborg.

Would you like it if I made fun of you for those things? No you wouldn't – so why are you making fun of me? Please stop being so jealous.

_Yours sincerely, Bryan_

_._

I hoped you enjoyed Bryan's chapter! Who would you like to see next – Michael, Rei or Hilary? As always, reviews much appreciated!


	13. Sincerely, Hilary

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Loiusreynolds, DMGSilverAirHead03, Minij Akane, Nazrita, Yuri y Tsuki500, Karanma Maeryl, bookgirl111, akin-'to38, Unknown and Omegaxis1 for reviewing the previous chapter! This one is about Hilary.

**.**

**Chapter Thirteen: Sincerely, Hilary**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

So, I've been hearing weird things about me from you authors.

You pair me up with Tyson (ew) and you pair me up with Kai (gag)

Do you really think I'm interested in either of those guys?!

...

Okay, so maybe I kind of like Tyson. As a FRIEND. Not BOYFRIEND. But BOY BIG SPACE FRIEND.

But Kai? What, since when did calling a guy cute mean I had a massive crush on him? I'm just admiring his good genetics, that's all.

_Yours sincerely, Hilary_

_._

Obviously, I left out some things... but she'll get another chapter down the track. As always, reviews much appreciated!


	14. Sincerely, Enrique

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Naths, akin-'38, Karanma Maeryl, Omegaxis1, bookgirl111, Anjanie and SkyDragonKing for reviewing the previous chapter. Also, thanks to DarkNightShadow for reviewing chapter one and I Hug Pandas for a Living for reviewing chapters four, seven and nine.

**.**

**Chapter Fourteen: Sincerely, Enrique**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I'm not stupid, alright?

Girls play dumb to get guys, so why can't guys play dumb to get girls? If you've got a big wallet it'll work.

Trust me...

It works for me

_Yours with much love, Enrique-Poo_

.

Rei next, then Michael.

Reviews much appreciated, as always!


	15. Sincerely, Rei

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Thanks to Northernshinigam, Naths, Nazrita, DGMSilverAirHead03, Karanma Maeryl, Omegaxis1 and Anjanie for reviewing the previous chapter

**.**

**Chapter Fifteen: Sincerely, Rei**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I'm not a girl, alright? I know I have long hair but long hair does not equal female. I mean, Garland has long hair but do you see anyone calling him a girl? No!

And honestly, what is with the KaixRei fascination? If I have to be paired up with someone, why does it often have to be Kai? We are friends, not lovers. Jeez.

Finally, what's why do you authors enjoy making me the victim? I've been ditched by my friends, turned into a vampire, been raped, been pregnant, been killed ... you people are sick. Why can't I get more happy stories about me than depressing ones?

_Yours sincerely, Rei_

_._

Since I joined in 2006, I've noticed Rei seems to be in the victim role more often than his fellow Bladebreakers – I wonder why that is? Sure, Kai gets his fair share of depressing stories, but it fits his character better than Rei. I guess many authors treat Rei like a punching bag? Poor Rei. As always, reviews much appreciated!

.


	16. Sincerely, Kenny

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

akin-'to38, Yuri y Tsuki500, DGMSilverAirHead03, Guest, Nazrita, Omegaxis1, bookgirl111 and Laet-lyre for reviewing the previous chapter at the time of this update

**.**

**Chapter Sixteen: Sincerely, Kenny**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I have eyes. Honestly. It's just hidden underneath my hair. I should probably get a haircut, right?

And I want to make a complaint – It has come to my attention that there are hardly any stories about me in comparison to the other main characters. Oh, I get it. I'm just the nerdy sidekick incapable of being cool. Well, I'll have you know Tyson wouldn't be the champion if not for me. Yeah, that's right – I AM important.

_Yours sincerely, Kenny_

P.S Nerds rule! Literally.

.

Next is Michael! Reviews much appreciated, as always!


	17. Sincerely, Michael

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Guest, DGMSilverAirHead03, Omegaxis1, NorthernShinigami, akin-'38, SkyDragonKing, Karanma Maeryl, Nazrita and Guest 2 for reviewing the previous chapter. Hope you all had an awesome Christmas.

**.**

**Chapter Seventeen: Sincerely, Michael**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I am NOT a dumb jock, alright? It's all just an act. Honestly. Why do athletic people always have to be discriminated against? Just because we're physically fit, does not mean we lack intelligence. I mean, just look at Emily! She's a tennis star and she's smart. So lay off the dumb jock comments, okay? Or are you simply jealous of my ultra coolness?

_Yours sincerely, the number one baseball player, Michael_

_._

Who should be next? I'm thinking Ming Ming or Stanley. As always, reviews are much appreciated!


	18. Sincerely, Ming Ming

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

SpecialKcereal, DGMSilverAirHead03, Karanma Maeryl, Songstress on the Starry Lake, Omegaxis1, Nazrita and Anjanie for reviewing the previous chapter!

**.**

**Chapter Eighteen: Sincerely, Ming Ming**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I AM a wonderful singer! My critics complain that my voice is annoying – I'm sorry, but you can't choose your voice. You might not like it – but for every few haters, there is a fan. Maybe you're just jealous of my success. That must be it. You wish you were just like me!

_Yours sincerely, Ming Ming_

_._

In the near future, I'm going to be doing a little spin off to this called 'Dear Diary'. It'll basically be short little entries about the daily lives of the main cast. As always, reviews much appreciated! Stanley is next. Suggestions are welcome : )


	19. Sincerely, Stanley

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

DGMSilverAirHead03, Guest, Anjanie, Omegaxis1, Nazrita and Songtress on the Starry Lake for reviewing the previous chapter.

**.**

**Chapter Nineteen: Sincerely, Stanley**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

It is an utmost pleasure to be writing to you all, but I wish my mind was in a better space right now. I've been hearing some people calling me a 'jolly old fat man who is losing his mind'. Someone even refereed to me as being the next Santa Claus.

Now... I might be happy, but that's not a problem. And I'm not crazy – sending the Bladebreakers on a trip around the world was not dangerous at all. They were being protected the entire time. Well, Kai going evil wasn't part of it, but it worked out in the end right?

_Yours sincerely, Stanley_

.

That was harder than I thought, not much there is to do with Stanley.

I think I might do Brooklyn next.

Oh, and to answer Songtress' question... Tyson will come... eventually.

Reviews are much appreciated, as always!


	20. Sincerely, Brooklyn

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Songstress on the Starry Lake, Omegaxis1, Nazrita, DGMSilverAirHead03 and Anjanie for reviewing the last chapter. Also, thanks to Rebelle Boss and Brillerai for reviewing chapter 11.

**.**

**Chapter Twenty: Sincerely, Brooklyn**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

I just want to take the time to point out a few things I've heard about myself, and I wish to explain these points.

One. I'm really a kind-hearted soul. I love animals. I like feeding ducks, and letting bugs sit on me. Tyson caught be on a bad day all thanks to Kai.

Two. On the topic of Kai, why do people enjoy pairing me up with that brat? I hate him. He hates me. There's no love between us.

Three. Speaking of pairings, if I'm not paired with Kai, I'm paired with Garland. What gave you the indication that I am gay? Because I am NOT. Besides, if I was... would I honestly choose Garland? He's too much of a wet blanket.

And just for the record, I am not gay!

Yours sincerely, Brooklyn

.

Who would you like to see next? I'm thinking Mariam.


	21. Sincerely, Mariam

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Seria Arsena, Guen Haoru, DMGSilverAirHead03, Songstress on the Starry Lake, Omegaxis1, Nazrita and Anjanie for reviewing the last chapter!

**.**

**Chapter Twenty One: Sincerely, Mariam**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

One day I decided to jump on the internet and check out the latest goss about me. And I've discovered that people think I'm in love with Max... are you people insane? Why do fans always have to presume everyone loves each other after showing a bit of kindness? I was nice to Dunga at one stage. Do you think I'm in love with him too?!

I've also learnt that my attitude has led me to be portrayed as a 'whore' in many stories. I know I'm awesome and beautiful, but I would never become a whore! Get your facts straight people! I'm not dating Kai. I'm not dating Bryan. I'm not in love with Max. Or anyone else for that matter.

Yours sincerely, Mariam

.

I'm alive, everyone! It's been far too long since I've actually done anything fanfiction related. Reviews are much appreciated! I'm thinking Emily next. What do you think?


	22. Sincerely, Tyson

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Anjanie, Songstress on the Starry Lake, Rebelle Boss, DGMSilverAirHead03, max ryid, Lazy Authoress and Brillerai for reviewing the previous chapter

**.**

**Chapter Twenty Two: Sincerely, Tyson**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

You people are so judgemental. Although I have my fair share of my fans, I have a lot of haters sending me hate mail because I beat Kai. Of course, I'm also hated for being a combination of the following; fat, ugly and stupid. I want to point out I am neither of those things, but if I was, is that a crime? None of us are perfect – yes, not even Kai is.

Anyway... back to the top reason. Kai is not a better blader than me and I am not better than him. We're both equals so please stop hating! I only beat Kai because I have a slightly stronger mental edge than him. That's my advantage.

So yeah, please stop the hate.

I'm sure you have flaws too.

_Yours sincerely, the Champion_

_._

There will be another Tyson one down the track that will address other issues about Tyson portrayals in fanfictions. I also want to add the themes and ideas that appear in these chapters are based on things I have read in the past. They may not commonly occur now, but quite a few of these ideas happened a fair bit in the mid 2000's. Who would you like to see next?


	23. Sincerely, Ian

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

Dear Beyblade Authors

**Summary**

Letters from annoyed bladers for fanfiction authors.

**Special Thanks**

Brillerai, DGMSilverAirHead03, queen of beyblade, Guen Haoru, Nazrita, fir3striker, Seria Arsena, Songstress on the Starry Lake, Anjanie, NorthernShinigami, Delirium1015, YaoiK and akin 'to38 for reviewing the previous chapter!

**.**

**Chapter Twenty-Tree: Sincerely, Ian**

_Dear FanFiction Authors,_

When people talk about me, the first thing they mention is my nose. Just because my nose is a little larger than normal, doesn't mean you have to tease me about it!

And what's with the big deal making me a sneaky mischievous prankster? It's because I'm short, isn't it? Why are midgets seen as sneaky people? And if people aren't making fun of my nose or me being a prankster, people make fun of my cowardly nature!

I don't have a cowardly nature. Just because I'm younger than my teammates, does not mean I'm a coward!

And last... where the hell did people get the idea I like blowing things up? You people have serious issues.

_Yours sincerely, Ian_

.

I'm thinking Ozuma next or maybe that Lee chapter I promised a while ago. What do you think? As always, reviews are much appreciated!


End file.
